Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
we should paint friendship bongs
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