she was so not down for the gang bang
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
