She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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