No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
