You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
