I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Your penis caused this!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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