What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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