He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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