sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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