we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
