you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
