i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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