I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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