he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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