i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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