Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
