I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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