Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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