I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
