Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
