Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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