OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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