Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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