2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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