remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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