So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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