i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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