all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize