she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
