it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
