She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
