I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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