How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
