I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
