Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
