That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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