Someone shit on the floor
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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