9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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