Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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