Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
