this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
