I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize