My room smells like vodka and shame
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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