last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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