Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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