i would punch a child for taco bell
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
