it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
