when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
