went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
