why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
