Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize