This girl is more easily done than said...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
