You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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