So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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