I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
