it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
