Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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