i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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