Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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