If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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