i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
