so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
