How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize