on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
