Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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