even my farts smell like vagina
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize