Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
